wednesday, july 15

i had every intention to post today about our new residence, complete with captivating pictures, but every time i scrolled through the pictures of our new house i started to feel sorry for myself so i stopped…no self pity allowed i told myself.  instead, i redirected my efforts to teaching adali how to swim kick in the pool.  and then tonight, as i was watching how beautiful st. louis looked on tv during the all-star game it happened again…the whole feeling sorry for myself thing.  

i know i have no business feeling this way but i can't seem to help it.  i am starting to feel like i'm at summer camp and as many times as i tell the counselor that i don't belong here and that i want to go home, she won't let me.  honestly, the place we live in is perfect, the area is beautiful, the people couldn't be nicer and my closet is to die for, but it's not home.  when i am taking my nightly bike ride with adali, i sometimes wonder how long it would take me to pedal back to the midwest (remember, it's a beach cruiser).  tonight, i guessed it would take me 8 or 9 days.  my legs must not have been burning as much as previous nights.  

i miss my friends and family being close.  i miss the amenities that a larger city has to offer.  i miss hearing the fireworks at busch stadium and knowing that the cardinals won.  and oddest of all, i miss the smell of hops in the air from the brewery.  

i caught myself counting how many weeks we had left in georgia as i was in the shower this morning.  51.  not a good sign that this feeling will pass anytime soon.  i know this is all part of life and i keep telling myself that the most successful people are those that are able to adapt to change, but i'm just not sure i'm cut out for this whole nomadic period in my life.  the scariest part is that we don't even know where we will be this time next year.  for all i know it could be russia i see out of my kitchen window just like sarah palin.

i certainly don't need anyone feeling sorry for me, i seem to be doing a good enough job of that on my own, but if you have any advice on how to snap out of this southern funk i'm in, pass it my way.  oh yeah, and if you can find a way to bottle the smell of hops brewing, send that along as well.  

i guess until i find a way to get over myself, i can always find peace in knowing that there is a little bit of the midwest right here in georgia.


we drove through effingham, georgia on the way back from florida (we even stopped to have lunch there).  for those of you who read this and didn't grow up with me (all 2 of you), effingham is the town in illinois that i grew up in.  i'm sure there are a few of you thinking to yourselves, is that the town we passed on the way to such and such that has that huge white cross."  to which i would respond…"indeed it is."  and then you would ask me why it's there and i would say, "i have no idea," because well i really have no idea.  

when i saw the sign, i thought the world had just ended, but it didn't…because if it did, i wouldn't be in georgia anymore.      

6 Comments ( Reply )

  1. Sara T says:

    Well i am sorry to say i have no advice – except that I hope you get to feeling better about your new home soon. Just remeber it is not forever – consider it an adventure – if that helps?!?! (I am bad at this as I was not able to even move 1/10 of a mile away from my childhood home! And when I “lived away” at school for 2 years I was never away from home more then 5 days in a row………)
    I’ll be praying that being a southern belle gets easier for you and fast!

  2. Tina says:

    Keep your head high and tell yourself: This is a NEW beginning and you can make or break the ending! That is my only advice! Maybe you can meet my sister somewhere in between, she loves company! I can give you her number! Keep your head up and I will be thinking of you for a more peaceful mind!

  3. Sweeney says:

    James, just think of this as a looong vacation. we leave in 2 years and i’m already hyperventilating about it. i can’t imagine living somewhere without the help of my family…and without my friends :(

    that’s enough! no more wallowing in self pitty! you’re a tough bird (red bird, even)…you’ll get through this. look how fast last year went…came and gone. as sherri said, you can do anything for a year! before you know it James, you’ll be packing up all your crap again and making that drive back to good ole STL – right where you BELONG!

    i’ve now got the Cheers theme song in my head…thanks.


  4. Erin Geary says:

    Hey Jamie! I don’t have any great words of advice, because it is hard. I’ve moved 13 times, and each time there was a long period of adjustment (just ask Jastin how we Gearys hibernated the first 2 years here!). The best thing I’ve found about moving is finding out that you can adapt to anything…and along the way you gather some pretty cool experiences! If I had stayed in B’ham, I would have never tried toasted ravioli, watched a Cardinals game, learned that “Hoosier” means redneck and not “member of a basketball team,” or slept in a call room at SLU (okay, I could have done without that one). We met our best friends/our children’s Godparents here, and learned all about beer brats…and I FINALLY developed a taste for beer (thanks AB). Believe it or not, in 5 years you’ll be reminicing with Adali how she learned to climb in a peach tree. Just hang in there girl!

  5. Hi Jamie,

    I’ve been thinking all day about what to say to you…and I just feel bad that you’re feeling bad there! I’m sure it’s even more difficult because it’s just a temporary stop, but I’m hoping and praying that you’ll find a friend there (maybe someone with a little one Adali’s age!) to spend some time with while you explore your new surroundings.

    If I could bottle up the smell of hops, I would :) I totally get that smell thing – when I moved away from Champaign, do you know what I missed? The smell of the Kraft plant north of the city…isn’t that crazy? When I’m back, I love that smell. It just takes me back. Locals probably think I’m nuts.

    Anyway, take care. And keep blogging… I love seeing Adali’s cute face, and reading your funny take on things.

  6. Sonya says:

    Hi Jamie,
    I have to say almost 6 years ago I was exactly in your shoes. I’m not going to lie, our first year here was SO hard. There were many times I had wished we hadn’t moved from everything we knew and loved. Now, I wouldn’t go back.

    I don’t know how to tell you to cope with those feelings, because what I’d like to say is the first year is the hardest and then it gets better. I can’t say that to you because you are only there for a year. What I will say is this – try to find any and every activity there is that you can do with Adali…..storytime at the library, mom’s clubs (i’m in one here where I know there are chapters all over…we also have mom’s night out which would be great for you!), music playhouse, gymboree, things like that. You’ll surely find some friends with kids that are Adali’s ages…friends to play with during the day! Ironically, one of the first activities I went to here I met a girl and her son who also moved here from STL. Today she is one of my best friends. You just have to find that girl there! :-)

    Good Luck. I’ll be thinking about you and praying that you find some good friends soon!

 Leave a Reply